omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
