I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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