do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize