I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
