im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this is an emotional support booty call
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