I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
