also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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