just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
