is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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