Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
