hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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