you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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