You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
