sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
