just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize