Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
