it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
