I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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