She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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