oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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