it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
