Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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