i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
