I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What a dumb baby whore.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
