I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
