Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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