Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
