You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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