Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
