i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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