Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize