you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
