And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
