sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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