Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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