I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
