Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
