So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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