I need help removing her.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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