After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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