At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
