do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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