Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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