We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
