Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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