The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
