I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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