My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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