just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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