So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
