i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize