K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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