Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
