Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
