Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
