can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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