Did you just see the Batmobile???
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Houston, we have a blender
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
